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“hey. i am tired. my life feels like it often places too much importance on being attractive to guys. i starve myself often, i think hard about how to act so they like me, and its not like i am a slut i just want one boy i really really like to like me back and to go out for ages. its not like you'd pick me as desperate I'm stunning and smart and funny and i have some guys be like how can anyone not like me, and that may be true, it'd be believable but i wonder why i am here. I've had some vague thing with some guy we hooked up like a month ago and have talked heaps msn/sms (gay i know) and today i think he is beginning to get over it. i don't really mind, i don't really like him and i can see him again and it'll be cool, but something about it makes me feel shot down - i mean honestly shut up me. i'm so silly and i obsess about bullshit like guys i get so upset if things don't work out even if it makes perfect sense i think its because i see each guy as that guy to save me, to be my number one. tiredness.”

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